I committed suicide : Kai

Model Kai Exclusive interview

Where are you from, and how would you describe your life growing up?

 I was born in a small town called Welland. I grew up in a beautiful house, with my grandparents, while my moms went to school at Humber College to become a Funeral Director, and seeing my dad on weekends. Once my mom finished her schooling, her and i moved to Hamilton when i was in grade 3.  There, my mom and I moved into a two bedroom apartement. I also grew up in a house with a loving family that helped my mom raise me, and to this day they are still considered family.

When I was 10, my mom had my brother Cole, who my mom let me name! But unfortunately things started to really go down hill for me when i turned 13. I started to loose many more friends and family to death, my health started to take a bad turn, my grandparents who I consider my parents moved 12 hours away for retirement, i was fighting with my mom a lot so i was never home; my school experience, socially and acidemically was becoming worse, amongst many other distressing experiences for someone to handle at such a young age. My health, especially my mental health, started to turn in a really negative way. October 13, 2013

I committed suicide, an ambulance came and I was rushed to McMaster Children’s Hospital. Most of that experience was a blur; but soon after that i was put into therapy and put on medication. My teen years were the biggest struggle, as i got older, i fell deeper into a negative path, i wasn’t necessarily unhappy but i wasn’t exactly happy either. The things i was doing and the places i would go, weren’t very positive decisions either. It wasn’t until about 2 years ago that i finally started to get back on a positive track and gained the similar confidence i remember having as a kid, and I am medication free (besides the medicinal use of marijuana)!

How did you find your way in front of a camera, modeling?

-Like most little girls, growing up i wanted to become an actress, dancer and/or a model. Even though my mom couldn’t afford much, she put me through dance lessons and did little photoshoots with me as a kid, I loved it! However as i got a little older my self esteem started to diminish when i started gaining weight in grade 3, and as a kid you don’t know exactly how to deal with that. Having not only my peers make fun of me, i also had family that liked to comment on my weight as well, but the biggest critic i was facing was me. The day i decided to make a change was the day my mom got professional photos done of our family (I was 15 at the time). When i looked at that photo for the first time, i was close to crying. All i could remember thinking to myself was “ is that what i really look like”.  From then i started to make a change, but as a teenager, i was unsure on who to turn to that could help me, so i did what any teen in this century would do; I went on Pinterest and Youtube. I did my own research about my body type, workouts that would help, and just as important, diet changes. However around the same time i developed some health problem, as well as a hormonal allergy to eggs, which made my diet changes even more different then what i was used to. During that time i did loose some weight, but not as much weight as i wanted, and not the way i wanted to loose it. Once i found myself feeling better, is when i started to make changes. I started with slow changes, that included diet change, light workout before bed, not eating too late; then progressed into bigger changes such as, meal planning, more exercise throughout my day, joining clubs and teams that would help with physical activity, eating less sweets (which was the hardest part!). As years went by i continued my journey. Fast Forward to 2018; the starting 2018 i was in an unhealthy relationship, my self esteem and my overall mental health were at an all time low. When that relationship ended a few months after, i found myself at a restart stage. It took some self pushing, but i finally encouraged myself to work on me even harder then before. In June 2018, I entered for a chance to win a photoshoot with David Fillion, a photographer who’s work i admired on Instagram for a long period of time. I was crossing my fingers, hoping and wishing i would win; I felt like this was something I’ve been waiting for to help boost my self esteem and help provide me with some more self encouragement, the perfect chance to show before and after pictures of my weight loss! It wasn’t long after that, I got a notificaion from Instagram that i had Won the contest! Moral of the story, never give up. When i started my journey i was 180lb-200lb (keep in mind i was this weight at 15 years of age), with many years of weight fluctuation, I am now 21 years of age and weigh a happy 134lbs. You never fail until you stop trying.

What do you like best about being a model? 

I like being a model because ..

– I can be who ever and whatever i want to be, similar to acting but in a freeze frame

– It opens travel opportunities and other fun experiences

– Its a great way to help improve self-esteem

Besides modeling what is the most important thing in your life?  Do you have any unusual talents?

I love doing anything that involves me being able to use my unique creative abilities such as draw, designing, painting, sculpting, baking, cooking, dancing, singing, acting, and lots more! 

 We all need support in life.  Where do you get your support?  What or who inspires you?

The best support i can ask for is making sure that the people around me are good vibes, and good times; people who bring positivity in my life, wether that be friends or family. I always say, if your not making me happy, helping me better myself or making me money, i don’t got time for it. However I do help and am there for the people that are there for me.

What do you think is the most challenging thing about modeling and what advice would you give to new models?

A couple pieces of advice i can give to new models are:

-Even tho there are days where you may not think you are beautiful, there will always be someone out there who will think and/or tell you otherwise!

– Be prepared and organized! Wether that be getting ready for a shoot, making sure you have everything (outfit, hair, makeup, props or anything else u need for the shoot) or actually going and shooting (clarifying dates, times locations, etc.) Its always good to ask questions if you have them, don’t be afraid to speak up, but in a respectful way. The clearer the communication, the smoother the photoshoot will go.

What is your favorite way to relax?  What do you do for fun?

My Top 10 favourite things I like to do to relax include:

– Drawing

– Doing puzzles, riddles and brain teasers

– Watching Netflix or youtube videos

– Getting my hair, nails and toes done

– Playing Pool

– Stretch/workout

– Cleaning

– At home beauty regiment

– Go out on hikes or to the beach in the nice weather

– Hang out with friends/family

What do you recommend for those wanting to keep in shape?

Consistency! Consistency is key if you want to see results! Be consistent with your working out and healthy eating; I’m not saying you can never have sweets or have lazy days, but it has to be in moderation. I used it as a reward; for example, if i followed my workout routine and diet all week, i would treat myself out to dinner to my favourite healthy choice that i may not get to eat often (my favourite is sushi!). As far as working out, what i did when i found it hard to get motivated to work out, is I found things that were active that i still enjoyed doing. I did my research on my body type and found out I am an Endomorph, which basically means my body is more prone to storing body fats. So i looked up “workouts for endomorphs” online, chose my top favourites that i enjoyed doing and went from there. With my love for dance, i also am always wanting to increase my flexibility, not only to help improve my dance ability but flexibility can also help and look really cool with different types of photoshoots.

What would you consider your strongest attribute?  What do guys compliment you most on?

I get the most compliments on my face, legs and butt! 

What do you think is the best thing about a man?

The sexiest thing i find about a man, is when he’s in love. Although it was just movies and a tv show, growing up i always admired the love Morticia and Gomez Addams had for each other, and the forever love that Steve Rogers (Captain America) had for Peggy Carter. 

Please share something about yourself that may surprise others.  What is the most adventurous thing you have ever done?

One of the most adventurous things that I’ve ever done, is pierced my septum by myself when i was 16. I’m proud to say it healed fine, no infections, and i still have it, i just don’t always have a piercing in it!

Something that may surprise others to know is I was in the Royal Canadian Air Cadets program, 826 Gryphon squadron, in hamilton from age 12-17. I made it up for flight Sergeant and was even up for Warrant Officer second class, however i had to quit the program for personal reasons.

What are your dreams and goals and ambitions?

My biggest goal is to be my own boss! I plan to invest in buisnesses that can turn my dreams into realities. For example, I want to become a Marijuana Activist and Entrepreneur (Gain knowledge about Marijuana and its healing properties, training and experience in growing and extracting marijuana,  as well as training to become an edibles chef); open some Marijuana friendly based businesses and companies, that can bring a more positive reputation to Marijuana, enhancing its medical uses, maybe even have my own brand!

I also want to open a dance studio for children and youth that may not have as many chances that other children may have access to. I want this space to not only be a creative space, but also a positive, safe, learning space where children and youth love and look forward to coming to.

Other goals i have are to:

-Travel as much as i can and experiences new, fun things; maybe even run dance workshops for kids in different cities and countries!

– Become a Wild N Out girl on Nick Cannon’s Wild N Out TV series

– Model for Marijuana companies

– Improve my Martial Arts skills

If you were in a magical machine that could transport you to any place and time imaginable, where would you love to be?  Why?

I would want to go back to the 80’s so i can party with Biggie, Pac, and NWA 

Please share a guilty pleasure with us.  Your naughtiest fantasy?

My Naughtiest Fantasy is having a BDSM weekend with Trey Songz!

What’s one thing about yourself that everyone should know?

I actually need my glasses to see

Do you have any favorite quotes that you would like to share?

Wisdom cannot be counted by the years a flesh like shell has been born, but how long the soul in the shell has been on earth.

~Kailey Dunlop, 2013

How are you celebrating this 4th of July independence day ? what freedom you want as a model ?

I am going to celebrate my freedom to express! I am love to express myself, and am big on encouraging others to express themselves aswell! Wether that be physically, like dancing, or painting; or emotionally.

What does being published in this Modelz View magazine mean to you?

Being published in this Modelz View magazine, to me would mean, that i could be someones superhero. Wether if someone gets inspired by my story, or sees me as a roll model. I love to help people, and there has been times during my schooling and work experience, where i have felt like a superhero. Nothing can beat that feeling!